To Be Absent

Updated: Mar 5


2 Corinthians 5:8

Before my mom went to be with The Lord, I believed God for her complete healing. Father God had made certain I was led to many seasoned “Faith” Men of God who taught on healing and thus, learned about God’s Will regarding it [1 Pet. 2:24, Ps., 103:2-4, Isa. 53:5].


Needless to say, I fasted and prayed, meditated on The Word of God, made sure mom knew God’s Will was for her to be healed… everything I knew to do. Alas, she ended up in the hospital there in Lanham. For two weeks she hung on. Pretty much saw everyone in the family at least. A friend of mine (Bobbie-Jo) from Church made sure mom had accepted Jesus as her personal Savior and Lord. I did a lot of crying. My heart was broken to “smithereens;” crushed under the weight of ambiguousness. Why didn’t The Lord heal her? Yet, I continued to pray and believe God! One day, I sensed I should tell her something. Couldn’t wait to get to the hospital to see her. It was pressing - I must tell her this!


When I got to the hospital, she was in so much pain. She couldn’t really speak, but she could look at me. I remember telling her, “mom, I love you!” With a faint voice she said back to me, “love you too.” Now I could tell her what I was supposed to. And that was, “mom, if you want to go, its okay. I promise it is okay! [Ps. 116:15]. We will be fine. The Lord will take care of us!” And, don’t be afraid, because Jesus will come and get you. If He doesn’t send your Guardian Angel to come to get you, [Ps. 91:11, Heb.1:14, Ps. 34:7] He will come Himself. I promise you. She could really just look at me, yet I knew she understood.


Very early the next morning while laying on my sofa (I expected to hear something) I prayed, “Father, I know your Word, I’m supposed to be this mighty woman of faith and power, but I really need to ask You for a confirmation that mom will be with You.” In tears and in peace, the telephone rang. It was my younger sister Dee Dee. The hospital called. Mom was gone! (Remember, I asked Father God for a confirmation that mom would indeed be with Him.)


When we got to the hospital, my sister went into the room and behind the curtain first. I hung back a moment. Wasn’t really ready for this but my sister said, “Michelle, come here!” Wow, when I pulled the curtain back in order to see mom’s body, on her face was a smile. Not a full-fledged grin, a smile where you could see the smile line on both sides of her mouth. No, it was not a painful expression. Her entire face was without any wrinkles, smooth, glowing with a smile. That was my confirmation!!! What exhilaration that was. Yet, there was still the question of why The Lord did not heal mom. Over time, I began to seek Him as to why she was not healed. Just could not understand that. I suppose grief had set in too and in my missing her I began to cry and hurt even more. Truly, I thought I had the assurance in my spirit that The Lord her Healer was going to heal her [Jer. 33:6, Ps. 107:20]. Once I stopped crying, I heard the Lord say, “Michelle, I did what you asked. I did heal her!” The Lord never told me she would be healed and stay here. That’s what I wanted. But what she wanted and what The Lord wanted (allowed )was the principle here as well. I have since learned, there are a few reasons why people may seem to transition sooner than is expected.


Factors to keep in mind:


(1) Our mom had great difficulty with the chemotherapy

(2) In mom’s case, she chose to go.

(3) Mom was a very voluptuous woman (smile) and having to deal with a complete mastectomy was more than she could handle. (Even though there are plastic surgeries, etc. available today)

(4) The Lord knew mom was in the best spiritual condition

(5) It is possible that The Lord knew since she was in the best spiritual condition that she could be in with Him; He demonstrated His Mercy and Love for her, because He saw fit to let her come home to be with Him at that time.

(6) The pain that one deals with in the natural while believing for the manifestation of their healing can be too excruciating for them. Then they are faced with whether to stay or go be with The Lord

(7) God already knows the timing [Ps. 139]. He has a plan all along.


What is difficult for us, is understanding that God knows the time of our transitioning even when it seems totally unexpected. We don’t know all of what He knows; we only know in part even when He does tell us. [1 Co. 13:9]. We can be assured that if a loved one leaves, it’s not because they don’t love their families. Most likely leaving their husband or wife and children behind is what most concerns them. Like with my mom, knowing The Lord would take care of us brought her peace. It’s what He spoke to my heart to tell her. Otherwise, she probably would’ve tried to hang on longer than she needed to. [Rev. 14:13]


Listen, God is so amazing. He is aware of the end even before the beginning. [1 Co. 13:9; Isa.46:10]. And know this, God did not remove one thing, making us go through so much pain and heartache, just so He can bring about something else. No! Before the foundation of the world, [Jer. 1:5] He intentionally purposed in His heart to already have an answer provided; ahead of time; knowing the timing of when the answer would be needed. [Ps. 139:13-22].


You don’t have to be angry anymore! (God wants you to love again)



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